


the war is over (and we are beginning)

by Nebbles



Series: Felix rarepair week 2021 [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Felix Hugo Fraldarius is Bad at Feelings, Healing, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Golden Deer Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29071539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: And here Felix is, scarred and weathered from years of protection. He’s remained far longer than expected, and thinks he’d be here even without the pay. Lorenz’s life is hardly in any danger as it stands, and the chaos from before has finally settled down. Skirmishes still exist, but they’re uncommon. It’s peaceful enough, he tells himself, and he knows he doesn’t have to stay.But he does.------On a warm afternoon's day, Lorenz asks Felix share the stories behind his scars, and speaks of the peace they hope to have together in the future.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
Series: Felix rarepair week 2021 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134791
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11
Collections: Felix Rarepair Week 2021





	the war is over (and we are beginning)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what it is about Felirenz that makes me tap into this deep, poetic inner romantic, but these two have a world's worth of potential that's absolutely worth exploring.
> 
> For Day 6: Gentle+Peace+Stories.

Mercenaries and scars go hand-in-hand; it’s always something Felix believed. He’s thought little of the ones he’s obtained fighting in skirmishes, or even the ones he wears due to the war. They’re all proof of his survival. Nothing more, nothing less, and yet he’s unable to pull himself away each time Lorenz insists upon caring for them. 

He’s been hired as a mercenary for House Gloucester for some time. Due to the previous Imperial rule it carried, rebellions—small or large, it matters not—erupt throughout the land. Even if Lorenz is more than capable of defending himself with Thyrsus, there’s only so much magic can do when faced with an assassin who can move in the blink of an eye. Felix is surprised they’re going after Lorenz and not his father, given it’s  _ his  _ fault they’re in this mess. Lorenz is the one who removed him from power and is fighting to put the Alliance in a better place, and all it’s done is place a target on his back.

And here Felix is, scarred and weathered from years of protection. He’s remained far longer than expected, and thinks he’d be here even without the pay. Lorenz’s life is hardly in any danger as it stands, and the chaos from before has finally settled down. Skirmishes still exist, but they’re uncommon. It’s peaceful enough, he tells himself, and he knows he doesn’t have to stay. 

But he does.

He allows for Lorenz to take care of him, to attend to every scar that predates his service. Before, Felix had nothing to say, silent as Lorenz presses salve and bandages to any injuries. Somehow, he’s not used to the gentle way Lorenz’s fingers glide over his skin, treating him with a reverence he doesn’t deserve. The other man tends not to speak either, offering no words other than a gentle thank you for all he’s done.

“Felix,” he begins one afternoon, “may you share your stories with me?”

He blinks. “I don’t have anything to offer you, Lorenz. You  _ know  _ my story. You hired me to protect you.”

“I wish to know of your scars, Felix. If I can care for them better in any capacity, it is well within my rights to do so.” Lorenz reaches for another jar of salve, placing it on the bedside table. “I know you have gotten many since your arrival in Gloucester. 

“They’re just scars.” Felix looks to the mess of them on his arms. Old and new ones intersect, a mess of marred skin, large and small. His hands are a mess as well, a tell-tale sign of any mercenary worth their salt. Plenty lie on his chest and back as well to match, alongside the smaller ones that run across his cheek and the bridge of his nose. “Getting them wasn’t pretty. I don’t get why you’d want to hear that.”

“It offers me yet another chance to know you better. I see no reason why I should deny myself of such a privilege.” Lorenz takes one of Felix’s hands in his own, taking some salve on his fingers before beginning to massage it into his palm. “If it helps you any, you do not need to share them all at once.”

For a reason he can’t explain, Felix almost curls his fingers around Lorenz’s. “I still don’t see how this will help.”

“I cannot force you to share them, I am aware. I suppose there lies a part of me that wishes to grow closer to you.” Lorenz’s touch is warm. “Or is this uncommon between a mercenary and their employer?”

Felix looks down to their hands, biting on the inside of his cheek. He hasn’t opened up to anyone in a long time (and when was that? Was Glenn still alive?). A part of him wants to push back anything he dares to feel further down, to keep his heart closed off, and yet… if there’s one person he can trust, it’s going to be Lorenz and no one else. He sighs through his nose, eyes looking anywhere else. 

“I got those ones from not wearing any gloves.” It sounds even stupider out loud. “The old ones I had were too worn, and I didn’t have a chance to get new ones for a while.”

All Lorenz does is react with a smile. “And are your hands not your greatest asset? I would assume you have gotten gloves rather quickly.”

“I had to eat, Lorenz. I only had so much gold.” A few scars on his hands pale in comparison to starving in the middle of nowhere. “I wasn’t exactly lucky out there at first.”

The smile instantly turns into a frown. “My apologies. I should have thought of that before I spoke.”

Great. He’s one story in, and already upset Lorenz. They’re off to a fantastic start. “It’s fine. That’s all there is to my hands.” 

Lorenz nods, and begins to massage the salve into Felix’s other hand. “You have many on your arms as well. How many of them predate our reunion?”

“Most of them do.” Felix wonders if Lorenz’s gentle touches are going to continue up his body. He doesn’t want to push him away if this happens, however. Again, he isn’t sure why. “Are there any ones you want to know about first?”

His eyes travel up Felix’s arms, and he can’t ignore how oddly intimate this feels. A shiver rests at the base of his spine. He’s never liked others staring at him, and whatever Lorenz is doing—it counts as that, and it doesn’t. Those purple eyes on him, that seem to hold something of reverence, keeps Felix in place. Lorenz’s fingers are delicate as they brush against one of many scars that wraps around his forearm.

“What of this one?”

He’s watching Lorenz so close he forgets to answer.

“Felix?” 

He snaps himself back to reality, temporarily meeting Lorenz’s eyes. His hand still resides under Felix’s, the fingers on his other hand resting over the same scar from earlier. With his heart lodged in his throat for reasons unknown, Felix attempts to swallow it and continue speaking.

“Sorry. I’m alright.” This isn’t even one of his worst scars. “I got that one in a fight near former Imperial territory. I raised my arm to protect myself, and that’s why it looks that way. They didn’t last much longer than that, and I treated that one with what I had on hand.” It’s a mess, but considering there were never any infections, Felix thinks he did a suitable enough job.

“With how skilled you are, I am rather surprised anyone has landed a hit on you.” His index finger traces over the scar, slow, as if afraid to anger it once more. “But I suppose I should not make baseless assumptions about your time outside of Gloucester.”

“You’ve fought for your life before, Lorenz. It’s uglier when you’re a mercenary.” No healers to return to, no other soldiers to give aid and fight at your side. War’s end does nothing to cease the aggressions of the people, and the scars Felix bears are proof of that. “All that matters is that I’m alive.” 

Lorenz slightly tilts his head to the side, concern in his gaze. “How you are faring matters as well. Do not discount your well being.” 

“I’m fine.” He’s far from it. “I’m safe in Gloucester. You don’t have to worry.”

“Am I not allowed to do so in regards to what you have been through?” Lorenz traces his fingers to a scar on Felix’s shoulder. “You are more than a hired sword to me, Felix.”

His gaze travels to Lorenz’s hand, so warm and close, perhaps comforting. His heart dares to do something funny again, and Felix attempts to will it away. “Arrows,” he says much too hastily, “a sniper got me.”

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Lorenz draws back his fingers and rests them at the bed’s edge. “Though slight, I am noticing a change in your composure.”

Damn Lorenz’s perceptive nature. “I haven’t shown this side of myself to anyone. If I wanted you to stop, I would have said something.”

“Even so, I do realize I may be breaching your boundaries here. I am aware you dislike being touched outside receiving care for your wounds, and even if you have let me in somewhat, I…” Lorenz sighs. “I do not wish to drive you away.”

“You won’t.” The way Lorenz sounds, the forlorn look that travels his gaze… “I stayed, Lorenz. Even if I don’t…” He’s unsure how to word this. “I don’t need a reason.”

They stare at each other in silence for some time, and Felix wonders how he’s able to maintain contact. There’s a look in Lorenz’s eyes he can’t quite identify yet, and wonders if it bodes well or not. The longer this goes on, the more Felix’s mind scrambles for another story to tell. Despite how he wishes to, he doesn’t lift Lorenz’s hand to brush over the next scar.

“Nearly bested by another sword.” It lies over his chest, much too close to his heart. “They were fast. I barely had time to think, and they’d gotten through my armor.” Not that leather armor is hard to pierce, however. “Next thing I knew, it was their blood on me.” 

Lorenz’s fingers curl into the white sheets of the cot Felix is on, debating if they should travel where they desire. After a moment’s pause, they drift across the scar, feather light, resting over his heart. “I am glad that you were the victor of that match.” 

Felix has always been good at reading people, but he finds he’s lost this ability with Lorenz. He can’t tell if these touches hold a greater meaning, if there’s a reason they linger, if there’s a reason they’re so  _ warm.  _ Whatever look that lies in Lorenz’s gaze goes far behind his knowledge. All he can hope for is that Lorenz doesn’t feel the thundering in his chest, but it’s foolish to think otherwise. While he’s been shirtless before, during these moments of addressing his scars, it’s dawning on Felix how much the other’s truly seen of him.

“What scar do you want to know about next?” He has to keep it together. This isn’t the time to let those  _ feelings  _ creep up the back of his skull again. 

Lorenz, however, isn’t giving him much of a choice. He cups Felix’s cheek next, thumb brushing over the delicate scar that resides there. “And what of this one, my Felix?”

His— _ His  _ Felix? 

It seems Lorenz has caught this as well, and there lies a hint of pink to his cheeks. Neither man knows what to say next, despite the words that need to be said. Felix’s heart may be lodged in his throat, but there’s something begging to be asked.

“Why did you hire me?” 

“I could simply not bear to see you die.” Lorenz’s eyes aren’t leaving him now. “Perhaps that is a selfish reason, and yet the idea of you leaving Gloucester’s confines, where I could not save your life… I would regret it.”

Felix tries not to think of his own. At this point, he can only repeat himself. “Why?”

“Is it not rather obvious?” He’s smiling, light and warm like a summer breeze. “Perhaps I have not made a large enough gesture to show how I feel towards you.” 

“I—” He’s—this can’t be real. “Lorenz, we went to school together. You hired me as a mercenary. That’s it.”

“Sometimes, that is all love needs.” He cradles Felix’s cheek more fondly. “For as grand as it can be, there lies something wonderful in its simplicity as well.” 

“When?” It’s such a typical Felix thing to ask. How is Lorenz supposed to know the very moment he decided he was in love? They were in love?

“You are asking  _ when  _ I fell for you?” He laughs with a shake of his head. “While I am sure I can recount the exact instance, I believe it is suffice to say there was another reason I wished to keep you close!”

“You… other than wanting to keep me safe, you…” Has he missed every sign of affection Lorenz’s offered until now? “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I did hold plans to confess, Felix, do not mistake me.” The rest of the world fades away as Lorenz continues to speak. “I did not intend to slip at this very moment, but that is what my heart and mind deemed to be correct. I had only intended to ask of your scars, and learn to care for you better.”

“I think it’s better this way.” Felix may have withered away from embarrassment if Lorenz had done something overly elaborate to confess. “It… it was natural.” He just needs to say it back, doesn’t he? “I’m sure you can guess why I’ve never left.” 

The laugh he gives is softer this time. “I can parse the reason as to why, yes. It seems we have not done well in the communication department until today.”

“It’s an improvement.” Felix finds himself finally able to relax, to smile gently at Lorenz as he leans into his touch. He’s never been one to excel at using his words, but with how comfortable he feels, maybe he’ll be alright. 

“I am sure we shall make wonderful strides in due time.” Lorenz’s other hand wraps around Felix’s. “May I have permission to try something?” 

If this is Lorenz’s way of asking if he can kiss Felix, it’s certainly the weirdest way to word it. “Sure.”

Lorenz goes to stand, moving the hand that cups Felix’s cheek to the back of his head, tangling gentle fingers in his hair. His lips, softer than Felix ever imagined they’d be, press against the scar that reside there. They linger, as if memorizing its shape. It’s as if Lorenz is learning the story it holds through this method, and returning the care in the most wonderful way he knows.

“I—” Felix absolutely can’t think right now for the life of him. Why is this flustering him further than a normal kiss would? “Lorenz—”

His lips travel to the bridge of Felix’s nose next, and he’s certain they’re curved into a gentle smile. “I have wished to do this for some time.” Their next destination is upon Felix’s own, capturing them in a kiss that’s long overdue.

Felix isn’t the type to lose himself in romantic fantasies or indulgences, but in times past, he’s wondered what Lorenz’s kisses were like. They’re far better than what his imagination conjured, carrying the only sweetness he’ll ever crave. He isn’t quite sure what to do with his hands as they go to run down his chest, fingers curling into his shirt. Maybe they should travel to his hair next? Should they stay in place? Felix decides it’s just better to shut his brain off, glad to return each kiss that’s given.

They’re slow to part, lips a hair’s breadth away from another. Felix is sure there’s more words to say, perhaps more stories to share, but they’re lost as Lorenz kisses him again, hand sliding down his back. Felix cups his cheeks this time, fingertips brushing against Lorenz’s hair, absorbing all he can in these bursts of affection.

He’s unsure of what to say next. Admittedly, it’s easier to focus on the way Lorenz is holding him, the veneration in his gaze. It’s as if he’s viewing Felix as an object of worship, something to put faith in after all these years.

“You are far more than a mercenary to me, Felix, and I wish to give you the title of my beloved.” He kisses the scar on Felix’s cheek once more. “While I do not know what the future holds for us, I truly hope it can be one of peace.” Lorenz rests their foreheads together with a smile. “And one of happiness.”

Felix hasn’t felt this level of safety for a long, long time. “It will be. You know I’m not going anywhere.”

Maybe he’s not a mercenary anymore, and hasn’t been for some time, but Felix discovers he’s alright with that. He isn’t Lorenz’s knight either, his guard, or anything of the sort. He’s just Felix, someone who now lives in Gloucester to be with someone who knows his stories, his rough edges, and loves him all the same.

Lorenz kisses him once more, and Felix loses himself in all that he is.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, make sure to leave a comment/kudos! If you want to hear about future works and rambles, make sure to follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/that_nebbles)


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